JOHNNY KNOWS BEST: CHRISTMAS EDITIONWe come back from commercials as ShineDown's "Evolve" hits the speakers throughout the entire stadium. There are no fans in attendance only big TV screens and surround sound system in place all around the once infamous ECWF Arena, which is hosting its Extreme Christmas Wish pay-per-view special. The fans faces can be seen on the other side of the LED screen inside the makeshift 'ThunderDome' experience as ECWF World Champion Johnny Vegas struts out on stage with his ECWF World Championship belt draped across his shoulders.
Johnny looks around the entire ECWF ThunderDome arena, taking in its splendid sight. He then slaps the gum out of his mouth looking as Candy comes from the back, looking all sexy, with a microphone in her hand. Johnny then grabs the mic before raising it to his mouth to make his decree.
Johnny V: "Seasons Greetings to all YOU Johnny maniacs out there. And welcome once more to the most much watched and most talked about talk show in ALL of sports entertainment. WELCOME TO JOHNNY KNOWS BEST!!"
Johnny pauses, waiting for the fans cheer, but instead they sound off their boos. Johnny simply laughs it off and goes along with the show.
Johnny V: "Glad you could all join Johnny on this festive pay-per-view cutely dubbed THE Extreme Christmas Wish."
Johnny then looks at Candy, looking a little confused.
Johnny V: "Now, I dunno about you, Candy. But Johnny has a problem with that name right there."
Candy shrugs her shoulder as she taps away at her chin, looking puzzled herself.
Candy: "Why is that, babe? I mean tis the Christmas season after all."
Johnny V: "Yeah that's all great and all. And While Johnny has proved that he is Mr. Extreme in and out of the ring and does think Christmas is cool like the rest of these tools; Johnny can't shake the thought that RNRG set up some hokey poll where fans can vote on their favourite superstars... and the one who gets the most votes gets their Christmas wishes granted by RNRG. But see Johnny doesn't have a wish this Christmas...because Johnny has everything he has at the moment."
Johnny looks at the World Title that is around his shoulder and smiles.
Johnny V: "See this, Johnny already has this 16 pound gold sitting on his shoulder and also he has the most attractive, most beautiful sexy looking hot piece of ass at his side."
Candy smiles back at him, bating away her lashes at him in a flirty way as Johnny points at the fans.
Johnny V: "And Johnny knows that makes each and every one of you sweat hogs drenched with jealously and hate for Johnny. But it's okay. Johnny understands the jealousy you have for him and he forgives all you low lives scums for being so boring with your miserable way of life. I understand it. We all can't be a Johnny. I get that. We can't all have the same life as Johnny or the hot chic to bone every single night. I get that."
Johnny pauses as he sighs and then resumes.
Johnny V: "BUT fortunately Johnny is all about giving back to the people cause he's the champion of the people. And since we are all getting into the Christmas season, Johnny has a gift for you all as he would like to share with you all a Christmas tale entitled: 'How Johnny saved the ECWF World Champion', which Johnny hopes will help inspire you in some way, make you gain confidence in yourselves, but most of all help you overcome ANY if all the obstacles you have in your life. If Johnny can...then so can you. After all..JOHNNY KNOWS BEST!! Let's check it out."
Johnny motions to the titantron as a video package starts playing with Christmassy music sounding off in the background to set the mood up.
Johnny V: "Once upon a time there was a handsome young dashing daredevil by the name of Johnny Vegas...who was the ladies man in all the land. Even though he was quite pleasing to the ladies, He was quite the astute athlete with an incredible body and ravishing good looks to go along with it. You could say Johnny was the perfect 10 all around. BUT Johnny always aspired to become a pro wrestler and he excelled at it so much that he would sell out buildings and shows everywhere he went. The fans would all flock around to see him as He traveled all over the country, wrestling in small venues, and putting stellar matches. And before you know it, he would catch the attention of RNRG who quickly nabbed him and gave him a contract of a life time that would see him wrestle for Extreme Championship Wrestling Federation. The longest running wrestling company there is...going 18 years strong to this day. Johnny was very grateful for the opportunity that no more had he had to wrestle in smelly bingo halls in front of 25-50 ugly looking buck tooth beavers. But what Johnny didn't know was that he had a whole load of work cut out for him upon joining the ECWF roster. And on his first debut night he lost in an embarrassing fashion after he became distracted over some dame, who couldn't keep her nose out of Johnny's business and who happens not to work here anymore. Yeah I am talking about you Wing Na and that ogre looking boyfriend of yours."
The tron then flashes an image of Johnny on top of the ladder, grabbing the Goldrush Contract from Starcade.
Johnny V: "But that didn't stop Johnny from his quest from becoming the king of the mountain because when Starcade 14 came around, Johnny would find himself thrown in a triple threat ladder match for the Goldrush Contract where he would captivate the audience with his breath-taking human highlight reel performance and thereby go on to win the Goldrush contract, which would guarantee him a future shot at the ECWF World Championship belt."
Next image show Johnny with the Goldrush briefcase, heading into battle.
Candy: "And as several weeks and months waged on, Johnny would take on all comers and challenges which saw him dominate the competition inside the squared circle, beating the likes of James Ceno, Ken Hazard, and yes even the current Horror Core Champion, Siegfried, and adding a lot of wins to his win column. That was until Johnny grew bored and tired of disposing all these lower card curtain jerkers, and decided it was his time to explode onto the main event scene by cashing in his Goldrush contract against that dumbass Mike Dimter who at that time was devaluing the World Championship belt. After all, ratings were at a all time low, and RNRG was in a desperate bind to find a superstar like Johnny's calibre to save that belt from further disgrace and be the face of this company..."
Johnny V: "And so Johnny answered the call and cashed in his Goldrush briefcase contract as he would go on to beat Mike Dumbass in an uneventful contest, without even as such breaking a sweat. But what followed after was a travesty as Johnny would not have time to celebrate his newly won belt after a cowardly sneak attack from those masked idiots that left Johnny paralyzed and left in a hospital bed for dead."
Johnny and Candy bow their heads down, offering up a moment of silence, before they resume.
Candy: "Luckly, Despite suffering a major concussion and a near career ending knee injury, a broken collar bone, Johnny never gave up and went on to go against doctor's orders when he defended the World Championship belt against Dan Anderson, Marco Rossi, and Mike Dimter in a fatal four way elimination because Johnny didn't want to let all his fans down, and also he didn't want to go down as a one hit wonder. Even though all the odds were stacked against him, even though there was a chance that Johnny could end up losing his belt that night to any of those assholes. Johnny chose to spit in the face of danger, showing no fear and went on to war at All or Nothing."
"
Johnny V: "A war that Johnny WON as he fought with every fiber of his being with his sexy queen by his side, cheering him on! And when it was all said and done Johnny walked in as the reigning and defending World Heavyweight Champion and walked out as the undefeated World Heavyweight Champion thereby proving to everybody that he was indeed THE MAN!!. And that my friends is How Johnny saved ECWF...and Christmas.
Candy begins clapping her hands, applauding with passion.
Candy: "WOW what a brilliant reimaging of the Christmas carol, Johnny. Even Charles Dickens could never pen such an awe inspiring story-telling master piece at its finest. This blows away every Christmas classic there ever was made, making them all look like a steaming pile of shit....because after all...My Johnny knows best."
Candy rests her hand on her heart, looking ready to bursts into tears.
Johnny V: "You are absolutely right, Candy. But the story hasn't finished quiet yet because Johnny has another chapter to add in his flawless career as he sets to put the finishing touches when he beats that grubby evil hairy resident Grinch they call... Dan Anderson."
Johnny and Candy have a laugh at a badly cropped photoshop of Dan Anderson dressed up as a Grinch.
Johnny V: "Well Danny boy looks like we're gonna be doing this again, old buddy old pal. And quite frankly Johnny is grown quite bored and tired of your constant whining and crying. After your piss poor showing at All or Nothing where you got BEAT by Dimter in the early going must have left you pretty salty after that. I know It would have made Johnny salty as well getting BEAT by a dimwit like Dimter. But given that you were pretty confident in yourself going into the match, and thinking that you were up against three of the worst jobbers of this company, and then ending up getting eliminated in the early going and that too by DIMTER does really bring a big smile to Johnny's face. It was almost like Christmas came early for Johnny. After all, You had every bit of momentum going for you. You were the heavy favorite going into the match that even YOU thought it would be easy picking for you. You thought you could just waltz in and take the ECWF Championship belt from Johnny's reach...but you never expected Johnny to turn the tables and blindside everyone with his crafty brilliance. Let's be honest you wrote off Johnny as some kind of jobber from the get-go. You thought Johnny didn't have it to be the franchise player of this company let alone have a shot at leaving the fatal four way match as World Champion. BUT Johnny proved EVERYONE WRONG. And now Johnny can tell your starting to take him more seriously. Johnny can see that that you are seething and fixated on getting his belt at the pay-per-view; to make up for your lackluster shitty performance; to write your wrongs. BUT Johnny doesn't take you serious Danny. And why should he? Every time you are given a platform to compete for the World Championship you somehow manage to squander it off and do what you do best...and that is choke!"
Candy does a mocking choke gesture with her hands as Johnny tries hard to contain his laughter.
Candy: "He does choke doesn't he, Johnny? And yet management seems to favour this guy, giving him championship opportunities after opportunities. It makes me wonder why our rent-a-CEO, Daniel Dream, rewarded him and that ass clown Marco a #1 contendership match despite those two bozos leaving him high and dry at war games to fend for himself? You see, Even though it's the holidays, even though with all the lockdown rules in place due to CO-VID, you can still count on Johnny out here doing his damndest, promoting ECWF through various podcast shows, making sure the fans know of what ECWF is and that they're getting every penny of their money's worth because Johnny is what you call a REAL team player. He only does what's best for ECWF unlike a selfish dweeb like Danny boy who only cares about himself and his laaaammmme stablemates. You wanna talk about being the ALL empowering messiah and savior of ECWF? Well, Johnny is the real deal because he embodies what ECWF is all about. And he's not afraid to go extreme and beat the living days light out of you if it comes down to it, Danny. Ever since Johnny won the heavyweight championship he's become a different man. He's on another whole new level and come tonight Johnny will prove to Danny boy exactly why he is the greatest wrestler and showman alive to ever grace an ECWF ring! It would be a Christmas miracle if you can pull off the unthinkable and beat Johnny cause you'll be needin' a plenty of miracle from the big man upstairs to make it out of the arena with your own two feet when Johnny's done cleaning the ring with you!!"
Johnny V: "Couldn't have said it better myself, Candy. Now Dan-Dan...the time for talking is over! Nothing you say or do can phase Johnny. Johnny is going to be laser focused heading into the match. And if you had any guts you'd leave your lackey in the back and fight Johnny mano-e-mano like a MAN. You said it yourself you didn't want to deal with any more fatal four way matches...so let's up the ante on this one here. Let's leave it all on the line and finish the year off with the greatest wrestling match without any outside interference's and distractions. Let's call it straight down the middle to see who the better MAN really is. But when it's all said and done Johnny guarantees he will be leaving 2020 STILL the undisputed ECWF World Champion and you'll be left on your back staring up at the lights, thinking you were better off challenging for a lower tier belt like that that crappy NEX-GEN belt! And whether Johnny has to fight the next man to Johnny's belt. Be it Chance Davis, Masked Idiot #1, Masked Idiot #2, Eric Donavan, that bitch Mark Frenzy when he finally gets some balls to sign a contract, Eric Cobretti, or Daniel Dream himself. It don't Matter who you put in front of Johnny because Johnny will knock them all out of the park....and because...JOHNNY KNOWS BEST!"
"Thank you ALL and Merry Christmas and a Happy NEW YEAR!"
Johnny blows some kisses before raising his ECWF belt high to the booing fans. He then heads backstage with Candy as the scene fades out.